05 May 2010

BNB Rule #27 Mean What You Say

Discretion is for wimps.  People who have ever made a difference in this world did not succeed by being tight-lipped, conservative, and afraid to speak their mind. 

Cases in Point:
1. Rosa Parks
2. Martin Luther King Jr.
3. Ellen Degeneres
4. Simon Cowell
5. Kara Kelly

You can be honest and truthful without hurting people's feelings.  You only hurt people's feelings when they refuse to accept the honest truth.  A barenaked bitch does not believe in discretion.

16 December 2009

BNB Rule #26 Open Mouth...Insert Truth

Everybody requires honesty in their partners, friends, family, etc., but when actually faced with the truth, no one can handle it.  Barenaked bitches aren't afraid to be honest, and if that means hurting people along the way, so be it.  Don't beg for the truth if you don't really want it.

18 November 2009

BNB Rule #25 Toys R U

Everybody does it.  But not everybody admits it.  Who better to touch you than you? Next time you indulge in self love, feel free to explore your options.  Invest in some toys. Make playtime that much more interesting.  Barenaked bitches aren't afraid to explore their sexuality and invest $$ in some earth shattering sex toys.

10 November 2009

BNB Rule # 24 Digital Dating

It's one thing to find dates online; it's another thing to lie about yourself to get more "matches".  Obviously, you're putting yourself out there in the digital world for a reason; you are looking for a companion, looking to get laid, or you're looking for some harmless flirtation.  Barenaked bitches don't need to lie about their likes, looks, or lives; we are what we are and if you don't like it, just click "NEXT".

06 November 2009

BNB Rule #23 Ladies Night

Make time in your life for your ladies.  Whether it be dinner, a movie, or even "Ladies Night" at your favorite watering hole, without your girls, life just isn't as exciting.

22 October 2009

BNB Rule #22 Vice Cream

Life is not worth living unless you allow yourself a few vices...like coffee and cigarettes; martinis and chocolate; tabloids and ice cream. 

15 October 2009

BNB Rule #21 La-Z-Life

Just because it's comfortable and it conforms to your ass does not mean you have to buy it.  Never settle for anything less than what you deserve.

BNB Rule #20 The F Words

Forgive & Forget?   It takes a strong person to forgive, but an even stronger person to forget; it takes a barenaked bitch to do both.

BNB Rule #19 Life is Pain

If it doesn't hurt, it's probably not worth it.  Every barenaked bitch has to endure pain to get through life.  It's just a fact.

13 October 2009

BNB Rule #18 Simple Life

Life is beautiful and extravagant just the way it is, and so are you.  You don't need anything extra to be extraordinary.  Be yourself. Be simple.

12 October 2009

BNB Rule #17 A New Golden Rule

If you can't say anything nice, screw it.  Say it anyway.  Everyone has a right to say what they feel, when they feel it, even you.  So grant other people the same thing. If you don't like it, take it with a grain of salt, and move on.

09 October 2009

BNB Rule #16 Classy Costumes

Just because you're a barenaked bitch does not mean you're a whore...as Halloween draws near, it's time to pick out your costume, head to the nearest party or club, and enjoy the one night of the year where you can be anyone you want to be...except for a whore.  You're better and more creative than a slutty nurse or a Girl Next Door costume.

This year, pick out a classy costume, such as Michelle Obama, a superhero, a vampire queen, or as a character from Harry Potter or Twilight...whatever you do, avoid costumes with the words "bunny", "nurse", "schoolgirl", "secretary", etc...basically, avoid anything that would make you a pervert's target.

08 October 2009

BNB Rule #15 STD (Stop The Diseases)

If every barenaked bitch follows this rule, she can stop the spread of disease:
Cold sore on lips; keep heads above hips. Or, for some, cold sore below hips, keep heads above hips.

30 September 2009

BNB Rule #14 Frenemies

Keep your bitches close, but keep your bitches' bitches even closer. You never know...

28 September 2009

BNB Rule #13 Acquired Taste

Face it...not everyone is going to like you.  Chances are, you are an acquired taste; in fact, most barenaked bitches are.

25 September 2009

BNB #12 Knee-ther Should You

If your partner, male or female, is not willing to put on kneepads, neither should you. It's a two way street my friend.

BNB Rule #11 E!E!E!k

Just because you see something on E!, does not make it acceptable.  You are a bitch, not a stupid gold digging, D-list celebrity whore wannabe, so don't act like one. Even bitches have standards.

BNB #10 Bonhers

Women can get hard-ons too...they're just not as noticeable.

BNB Rule #9 Under Where?

Bras and panties are always optional.

BNB Rule #8 To Kill A...I mean, Tequila

The country song is true...Tequila WILL make your clothes fall off...it will also force you to make out with everyone you see, make irrational decisions, cause you to black out, and probably vomit if you have too much.  But hey, you only live once, right?